Big changes in a woman’s life rarely start with a dramatic event. They often begin as small discomforts that can’t be ignored—a feeling that appears in ordinary moments like texting, driving, or doing laundry. In these moments, she realizes she’s editing herself, not out of kindness, but out of self-erasure disguised as good manners.

There’s a particular kind of smile women learn to perfect when life has cracked them open. Not the glossy, camera-ready one meant for press and polished introductions. Not the bright one that convinces the room we’re fine. The other one, the almost imperceptible, tight-lipped expression that signals both presence and boundary. The one that says, I’m here, but not all of me is up for public consumption.

There is a specific kind of woman who learns, early in life, to carry two selves at once. There is the self who moves through the world: competent, composed, socially fluent, and reliably productive.